Why One Mama Is Walking On Mother's Day Weekend

Post Written: April 29, 2019

As a frightened, confused, and very alone 18-year-old, I feared having a baby would ruin my life. I couldn't imagine bringing a baby into the lifestyle I was living. I wrestled, wept, reached out, and was told over and over, "It's up to you, whatever you choose I'll support you." While support is nice, that wasn't what I was asking for. I desperately wanted help making a decision. I searched for some reason to have hope.

Part of me really wanted to have my baby, until my fears and the reality of being on my own outweighed any sound reasoning in my heart. So I walked through graduation pregnant and the following week ended my baby's life by abortion. I was just shy of 11 weeks pregnant. I had no idea that what I thought would be the solution to "save" my life would become the deepest loss and regret I'd ever know.

Years of anguish passed.  I became overwhelmed with grief, to the point that I knew I needed help.  So I went to Hands of Hope and found healing through a group many years ago.  Through God...while I was dead inside, in my sin, gave His life to save mine! His healing love crashed in to rescue, redeem, and restore my soul.

God took me on a journey where I was able to mourn, receive forgiveness, healing and name my baby.  My baby, whom I have named Mercy, would have turned 40 last Christmas. So I will give all of my days, for the rest of my life, to love Jesus back for His mercy toward me.  I served with the Hands of Hope team at the Deeper Still retreat last September, and I hope to do that again in the future. I volunteer twice a week now for Hands of Hope.  I pray to embrace, enlighten and empower every woman I sit with at Hands of Hope, with the same love and truth I wished I had received as that 18-year-old girl. And with every word, hug, tear, and prayer I offer, I honor the life of my precious Mercy as if to say,

"Your life counted, my love. It was not in vain. Your mama loves you."

At this year's raiseHope Walk for Life, my steps will be made in Mercy's name. I walk to honor Mercy, I walk to support a ministry that helps others in need.  Truly, lives are being saved. Souls are being redeemed and restored through what we do.

In Christ alone,

Raise Hope - Hands of Hope Tucson

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